I had read about unschooling and had researched all the methods for schooling alongside my lengthy attachment-parenting reading list. Bridging the gap between public school and unschooling, which I had no real-life personal references to, proved a more difficult leap for my very traditional partner.
i’ve always felt admirably calm in crises. trained in first aid + cpr, i handled my own kid’s ER trips with urgency + an unruffled air, despite pooling blood or a backward arm. but how i fell apart then – both slowly depleting as i read read read plus the immediate surfeit of fear + dread – felt new. sorrowful. and its been difficult to creep back from its many edges.
i have read myself into a frenzy of “should” and “need to” and “why am i not,” and i’ve realized that it’s because i haven’t given myself any down time to process the input. a continuous diet of new fare does not result in an automatic new life; it results in discomfort, and a bit of mental crises, honestly.
the thing is, i don’t always want to do my own thing. if we went out for the day, sure. if we didn’t, if we lingered mostly indoors and worked on a project, or listened to books, then sometimes i am too bored to do my own thing.
Aligning daily life with our goals simplifies and creates space to do the things we want. The rhythm has room for progression and change, but I also look forward to recurring events, measure my days by baking and hiking. It shapes our week, our month.